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Healing from Narcissistic Gaslighting: Rebuilding Trust in Yourself

Written by Zach Miller , Medically Reviewed by Jocelyn Riden November 11, 2024

Narcissistic manipulation is a particularly toxic form of gaslighting — distortion of reality to make someone doubt their own experiences, memories, and self-worth. Victims of this type of emotional abuse can have deep lasting scars that make it difficult to trust in themselves and get things right with relationships. Reclaiming control and feeling like yourself again opens the door to restoring self-confidence. Healing is difficult, but there are strategies and support to assist you along the way. This blog will delve into what narcissistic gaslighting is, how it impacts, how to cope with it, and what can be done to rebuild self-identity and personal power.

By learning about Narcissistic Gaslighting, we can decipher more clearly whether someone in our life is trying to manipulate us.

A type of narcissistic gaslighting is where someone close in your life like a partner, a friend, or a family member, makes you doubt your perceptions and memories of them. A narcissistic gaslighter may deny having said or done something that they have clearly said or done, distort events, and blame the victim for something that was clearly out of their control. Behaviors of this type are commonly used to set up dominance, and control, or as an excuse to deflect the blame from themselves and leave the victim feeling confused, doubtful, and insecure.

Common Traits of Narcissistic Gaslighting

  • Denial and Deflection: The gaslighter refuses to hold himself responsible; rather, he twists circumstances so that the victim feels wrong.
  • Projection: The victim of abuse may be accused of behaviors they exhibit.
  • Isolation and Control: They undermine self-trust, making the victim dependent on them for “reality” to such a degree that the recipient is often cut off from supportive relationships and independent judgment.

Narcissistic Gaslighting and the Psychological Impact

Narcissistic gaslighting affects more than how one feels confused, it can destabilize the mental and emotional health of a person. Unfortunately, victims frequently suffer anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and loss of self-worth. The more this abuse happens over time, it wears down the victims’ confidence, creating mistrust in them, which is necessary for any good and healthy relationship and personal life.

Narcissistic Gaslighting and the Psychological Impact

Effects on Self-Trust:

The ramifications of gaslighting, even after you leave the relationship, can be extremely profound, and can strip you of the ability to trust your judgment. Victims may spend years doubting their perception, condemning themselves, and avoiding decision-making.

Effective Coping Strategies for Victims

It’s not easy reclaiming your mind and heart from narcissistic gaslighting, but it’s possible, and there are a few strategies one can use to take control of their self and protect their mental well-being.

  • Setting Emotional Boundaries: The trick to avoiding further harm is to learn how to identify and enforce boundaries. Boundaries make it clear which person’s job is what, and where your responsibility ends and another starts.
  • Practicing Self-Validation: Validating one’s own experience and emotions is a powerful technique for regaining self-confidence. Daily affirmations and gentle reminders that ‘my feelings are valid’ combat years of internalized doubt.
  • Reclaiming Control Through Self-Reflection: Often writing down or telling someone past experiences helps one identify triggers and patterns to differentiate reality from the gaslighting.

The Role of Therapy in Recovery

Survivors of narcissistic gaslighting can have therapy be part of a transformational healing journey. Professional therapists, specifically those trained in trauma-informed or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), offer resources to help navigate through trauma, re-establish trust in your judgment again and learn ways of coping with the longer-term effects.

Why Therapy Matters:

  • Rebuilding Self-Esteem: Therapy creates a space to dismantle those false narratives that a gaslighter has placed in your mind and rebuild confidence.
  • Understanding Gaslighting Techniques: A therapist helps you understand the specific tactics they’re using which will make you more resilient to them in the future.
  • Developing Coping Mechanisms: The use of CBT and other therapeutic methods can also teach people how to battle negative self-beliefs and overcome worry and stress as well as stressful situations and anxiety.

Palm Coast Treatment Solutions: Your Partner in Recovery

You might feel overwhelmed with healing from narcissistic gaslighting. Palm Coast Treatment Solutions provides specialized counseling, therapeutic programs, and resources to individuals to help further their recovery. We are here to help you trust in yourself again, to help you take back control of your own life. If you would like to learn more about how we can be part of your healing journey, please contact us.

Self-Care Strategies for Recovery

Self-care is fundamental in the healing process making individuals develop resilience and become confident again.

  • Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness practice brings to the forefront our attention on the present so that we can focus on ourselves and learn to become self-aware again. Reducing anxiety and giving you clarity is what works.
  • Journaling: One of the best ways to process emotions is to write them down; track progress; and learn what our thoughts and reactions are. Journals can be a reminder of growth as you move forward in time and as such are powerful healing tools.
  • Physical Activity and Healthy Routines: A healthy diet and exercise contribute to health in general. Mental health cannot be separated from physical health, and the former needs the latter to recover emotionally.

How to Rebuild Your Self-Identity Post Gaslighting

Recovering from gaslighting and reconnecting to yourself after someone has systematically diminished your identity is one of the most challenging things you’ll ever do.

  • Rediscovering Personal Values and Goals: Thinking through your values, interests, and goals on your own rather than to someone else, can help you gain some clarity and renewed sense of purpose. Look for things that you can do that align with you truly authentically.
  • Engaging in New Interests: Self-investment by exploring new interests or revisiting old ones, will help people reconnect with themselves by enjoying something outside of the abuse.
  • Practicing Self-Compassion: After gaslighting, it’s normal to have regrets or lingering self-doubt. By embracing self-compassion and knowing that you did your best in light of everything. It’s a journey and everyone makes mistakes.

Investing in Yourself: The Path to Empowerment

The antidote to gaslighting is empowerment. Here are ways to embrace this empowering journey:

  • Building Self-Efficacy: Rebuild confidence by accomplishing small, realistic goals that fuel the belief that you can trust in your abilities. Small successes can be a reason to celebrate, which in turn can motivate and provide optimism.
  • Developing Assertiveness Skills: Assertiveness means expressing ourselves in a clear, respectful, and confident manner, so our needs and boundaries are understood, and we feel valued in a relationship. Assert yourself to make your interactions yours again and to maintain your peace.
  • Surrounding Yourself with Supportive People: Pick relationships that decide your worth, regard your limits, and offer your prosperity. Resilience and long-term healing require healthy support systems.

Prevention and Education: Protecting Yourself and Others

Prevention and education are key in protecting yourself and others from stepping into a similar experience in the future.

  • Recognizing Early Signs of Gaslighting: Recognizing when unhealthy behavior is starting early, helps to understand the same tactics that people use with gaslighting. Knowing the signs helps you set boundaries and avoid falling into manipulation.
  • Raising Awareness: Tell the people you know about narcissistic gaslighting. This is awareness to help reduce stigma and to attempt to build a community of support for the victims.

narcissistic gaslighting abuse therapy

Recovering from narcissistic gaslighting is a journey that takes tons of self-compassion, patience, and willingness. Establishing boundaries, taking time for yourself, and getting help can help to reestablish self-trust and find your way back to your identity. You don’t have to do this alone. Palm Coast Treatment Solutions offers effective and tailored therapy programs so that you can fully heal. Start the journey now and find a life that includes confidence, strength, and healthy relationships.

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